Once a Father
by samurai-ashes
Summary: Gozaburo reflects on Noa's death while he waits for Seto & Mokuba.


**_Ashes doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!_**

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The role of the grieving father was overdone in the media; I wouldn't waste Kaiba Corporation's press time with it. For my lack of public remorse, some periodicals labeled me as "numb and grieving silently" while others called me "as cold in his personal life as he is in business." Neither assessment was entirely correct. I grieved silently, but when it came to Noa's death, I had no option but silence. Kaiba Corporation was celebrated for my accomplishments in technology, but the world wasn't ready for what I had accomplished with Noa. 

The world wasn't ready for what Noa had become. 

And just how could I express the sorrow of a father who could see but not touch his only flesh and blood? There weren't words for it. No action could show what it felt like to know that Noa didn't really exist; there was no way to describe how it felt to watch my second greatest accomplishment fade to nothing – what it was like to see every last shred of hope and humanity fade from my son's eyes. In my desperation, I had saved him only to watch him die again from the inside. If I'd had any foresight, I would've let him live out the rest of his life never knowing he had died. If I had any courage, I would've pulled the plug on him the first time I read the data files and saw that he'd cried himself to sleep. 

"They'll be here shortly." 

My eyes shifted just slightly, but I didn't regard the servant otherwise – I had already known that my newly acquired sons were on their way. It was all I could think about. There would have to be a change in Seto's role; it was no longer adequate that he be my son's rival. Noa was no longer fit to be called a son – a thought that made my stomach twist as I stared out towards the front gate. It had been the last place I saw Noa – really saw him. He had been sneaking out from a lesson; I barely caught him out of the corner of my eye as he made it to the road. I had turned just in time to see the accident. 

"They left not long ag– " 

"I heard," I snapped, cracking my knuckles. "Greet them at the front door, and bring them directly to me." 

"Yes sir." 

Alone again, I focused on the day of Noa's death – it had been the only time he had ever defied me. Since then I relentlessly reflected on my role as his father; I'd replayed tapes of his lessons, reviewed what he was learning, and interviewed his tutor's, asking for their impressions of him. They all said that he loved his schooling, never shown any discontent with the pace or content. I'd spent hours looking at photographs of him, searching for the moment, the action, anything that could have put that shred of insubordination in my heir. My only conclusion was that I had become overindulgent. In my quest to create a perfect king to rule my empire, I had given him the attitude of one as well. His development in AI confirmed it. 

Movement caught my eye, and I realized they had arrived. There was the boy who was to be my new son, leaving the car with baggage on each arm. Already he was far more feral than Noa had ever been – if one moment of acting out had brought my son to his death, then the damage this whelp could do himself and my company was staggering. Already he'd shown the ultimate defiance in challenging me, and continued it by winning. He looked so much like Noa – he would be a constant reminder that my true heir was collecting dust in a lab. He would be a living memento of my failure. 

I would not repeat it. 

**-end-**

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**notes**  
Holy hell – what is this? 

That moment of confusion aside, my intent in the piece isn't to give Gozaburo a soft and fluffy side – that's implying that I think he had one, deep and dark and shriveled inside him. I simply couldn't bring myself to ignore the fact in most of Noa's flashbacks, Gozaburo looks happy – and in the flashbacks of Noa's death, he is genuinely upset. I came to the conclusion that for all he failed (or maybe didn't) with Seto, he was a father to Noa until the boy died – which led to this lamely-titled idea. 

So I thought to myself, "Damn it, why did he change for Seto? Why didn't he embrace this second chance?" And so, this was born. 

I don't know if that line about "baggage on each arm" stood out, but I love how when Seto climbs out of the car to enter his life with Gozaburo, Mokuba is hanging on his arm – its so cute. 


End file.
